In 2012, our 24 year-old son told his father and I that he was gay. After keeping it secret for two years, we chose to go public in hope of letting others know they are not alone. Within days of posting our video and article, we were inundated with messages and emails from people across the nation with a son, daughter, brother, sister, or who themselves are same-gender attracted – sharing their stories, their hurt and their desire for a better tomorrow.
This experience opened my eyes to the masses that are hurting and contemplating suicide, families that feel broken, and hearts that need to heal.
The nagging thought “What can I do?” lead to creating a website dedicated to “Enlighten Minds, Strengthen Families and Heal the Wounded Heart”. The things that you will find on the Healing Hearts Saving Lives website stem from the many questions people have asked seeking guidance, love and support.
Update: Today was the funeral of Mikey Funk, a young man from Logan, Utah who took his life on Sunday who battled same-gender attraction. And when I say “battled” I’m referring to the judgement, the isolation and hatred that so many deal with on a daily basis. It was hearing too many stories like Mikey’s that lead me to try to make a difference. If something I share can enlighten one mind, strengthen one family, heal one heart, then I’ve made a difference in one. And that ONE is important to God.
Becky, I truly applaud you for your courage and loving manner on addressing this matter. Suicide takes many of our family members, children and adults, I myself trying it twice, once at the age of 16 and the second at the age of 34. I believe suicides stem from the feeling of not belonging, lack of understanding, acceptance, openness and trust. Most people have such trust issues mainly from being hurt at some point in their life and not having the tools to work through it and not having the trust to ask for help, feelings that nobody could possibly understand. In my case issues started at the age of 12 when my parents divorced for the 1st time. My father was abusive to my mother regularly, physically and emotionally and mentally to us children, not on purpose. I count watching my mother being abused as abusive to the children, anyways this was during a time when I really needed parenting at it’s finest and it was not available. Watching my parents I learned one thing and that was you do not talk about it. I was bullied in junior high by the very people that I thought were my friends just because the color of my hair, needless to say I felt unaccepted, unloved and had to trust due to the fact that everybody I loved had betrayed or left me. This spilled over to my teenage years and adult hood and led to years of drug and alcohol abuse, which by the way left me dead on one occasion and led to a live in boyfriend attempting to murder me in 1999. My suicide attempt at the age of 16 strictly came from feeling totally not accepted by anyone and feeling abandoned by my father physically and emotionally by my mother, sounds pathetic however it is devastating to a child, I slit my wrist. The second attempt came later in life in the middle of full blown alcoholism and drug addiction during my first marriage. I am not a fan of antidepressants, during this time I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital due to my drinking and drug addiction, instead of doctors dealing with the real issues as to why I was self medicating they gave me antidepressants amongst other drugs, held me in the mental hospital for 60 days and set me free! Ultimately, I took all my bottles of pills at the same time because they never helped, surprised? I tell you this not because I need help at this point in my life but because I have known you since the 3rd grade and you know my ex husband Dan. You have not known me well, but well enough I believe that you know I was just a quiet average kid who never spoke out but was crying out for help silently in other ways. Suicide comes in many different signs but ultimately starts just like I explained at the beginning. I struggled for 27 years without a sense of belonging, feeling cheated and mostly ugly and I was very hateful and angry for it. I finally found my husband in 2000 who loved me unconditionally and loved me until I could love myself. That is a story in itself! I have clean and sober for 14 years now and finally found my peace! Thank you Becky for sharing this important subject. People should not have to feel the need to be silent about who they are or how they feel.
Cindy
I just want to thank you, Becky, for opening your heart so generously to those in dire need of simple compassion and understanding. Unfortunately, some people respond with hatred, anger and judgment out of fear. It is time for a more compassionate people — in our hearts, in our homes, and in our communities.
Thank you Bridget for you love and support. You an the perfect example of love, compassion and understanding. Thank you for all you do to make the world a better place.